"Fly Away" : The Middle- Between Salvation and Eternity

My mother-in-law told me a while back that deep thinkers are often artistic and use art form as a way to express their hearts. At first, I didn't think that applied much to me, but today I was reminded of it's truth.

I am head-strong, but not in the push people around/won't back down kind of way. I'm head-strong in the "chained" sense. Chains to my past, to my sins, to my fears and anxiety. I'm sure in some way we are all anchored to "prisons", but I have said several times to my husband that I feel as if I am a caged bird.

Before I knew Christ those deepest caged moments were so very dark and unnerving that it was almost maddening. Even knowing Him, I have moments when I feel as if my human frame cannot contain my overwhelmed existence.

But that is the beauty of the Cross. I can find freedom in Him. I know that in Him, those chains are broken and, while my circumstances may not change here earth-side, I know for a fact there will be Perfect solution when I meet Him. Knowing THAT and hanging on to that by my spiritual fingernails, truly brings a peace to this little caged bird-one that passes all understanding.

Today was a humdinger of a morning. It has been a busy week and a stressful weekend for many reasons. All was simmering low until the chaos of Sunday morning hit. You know, Sundays are supposed to be restful and a time to honor the One who gives us rest. Not surprising that Satan is here to make his best attempts to keep us from the Word, worship, and the rest that comes along with that surrender. It is hard work getting a family of five (and a naughty dog) prepared for AM church service. Mouths to feed, clothes to prep, hair to get done, and blah blah. Honestly, I'm tired before I get to church and then I have an 18month old to wrangle. I often leave church feeling tired, learning little, but thankful that I honored the Lord by going. ANYWAY, I lost my gourd this morning before church. I spewed out all the stress/angst that built up over who-in-the-world knows how long. My husband handled it with grace and for that I am thankful. I surrendered just enough to make it to church, not an ounce more. After all, dang it, I AM TIRED, PEOPLE.

Then, I went to church, heard the Word, and left both ashamed and grateful- ashamed at my rant and grateful to a God of many mercies. The song that came to my heart as I rocked my sweet boy was "I'll Fly Away."  I set out to worship God through the art of that song.

When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away)

Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

 

 

"Fly Away"

10'x8" on glass

Original SOLD

 

 

As you can see, the chain has been severed from the prison bars, leaving the bird free to fly but the chain remains attached. I needed to remember today I'm that bird, and if you know Jesus you are the bird, too.  I AM IN THE MIDDLE. At the cross in Calvary He broke that bondage of judgment and death. There is no longer condemnation. While I'm on this earth, though, I will still feel the the lingering chains of this fallen world- pain, regret, doubt, heartache and brokenness.  I'm in the middle, promised eternity, but living in brokenness. I haven't made it yet, and that is ok, because Christ continues to wait with merciful arms until Heaven.  

 

I am no longer chained to the bars of my judgment, but with the knowledge that one day I will be FULLY free of the chains when I am with Christ. And THAT is the difference maker. That truth allows for peace when we navigate the darkest of days. It allows for healing that makes us "experienced" to offer support to others support when they hit those same dark spots. And it makes it possible to stop and STAND on the truth that we are here for a purpose rather than being *stuck* in the prison of doubt, guilt, or shame. We can get up and keep walking, head held high to Heaven--even if our steps are so weak we are crawling.

 

If you don't know Christ, this may sound like quite the rosy painting of suffering and suckiness that comes with life. Like a "Jesus" way of explaining optimism. But optimism without follow through is shallow and fruitless. He will follow through. The suffering will ultimately be met with FREEDOM from pain and suffering. There IS beauty beyond our understanding in eternity with Christ. If you want to know Christ, email me at erinobrienart@gmail.com.

 

 



Bird's Eye View

I have no idea why I am constantly surprised by God's display of His infinite knowledge in my life. So many times, He wows me and I am slack-jawed, shaking my head as if to take it right off its axis. He's perfect. He's Sovereign. He loves BIG and perfectly. And, of course, being human, I forget that and then, He wows me. Hence, the bird's eye view. The dictionary defines it something along this line: A view from high over head, as if from a bird's perspective. To see something in its entirety from above. Isn't that just how God is?

If our lives were compared to a photograph, we would see but a few pixels at a time. A few specks of blurred color, seemingly offering ZERO significance. Sure, we may see some small effects to our causes, in life, but truly we have no idea how each detail of our life is multiplied to affect so many other areas in our own lives and in the lives of others. The role they play in the now and the FOREVER.

Oh, but God, in His amazingly awesome perfection, can see the minute detail of the pixel and the full beauty of the entire picture.

Case in point: my most recent project. A custom, requested by a sweet lady I've gotten to know online. I won't begin to explain the many, many details of His assured presence, but trust me when I say, He was with me. And for that, I'm grateful. One simple example is the title. As I prayed for wisdom and creative direction, before I had an inkling of what the painting would be, the name of the painting came: "Bird's Eye View." .

Anyway, this online friend of mine, wanted to bless a family they had befriended years ago (her husband and this gentleman served together in the military). They were expecting about the same time, but this family had a heart-breaking loss of their little, sweet gift after just 36 days of life on earth. The request was simple, a "star" theme and then she gave me the backstory.

Here's a condensed version:
It was a perfect pregnancy. Baby and momma did great. But, the night she went into labor, baby's heart rate dropped and an emergency c-section was performed. He went several minutes without oxygen. One night, his momma and daddy held him close on the lawn of the children's hospital. There, God gave them a beautiful display of His majesty--Shooting stars, and apparently, a good amount of them. Just a few short hours later, he was gone. His momma later wrote that they find comfort every time they see one, because it reminds them of their sweet boy.

As I do with all my paintings (and Lord make me quit the day I don't do this), I prayed for the family. Then, I began to read up on the scientific information on shooting stars. Shooting stars, aren't stars at all. They are dust/debris entering earth's atmosphere. When this occurs, they change in physical/chemical composition and they literally burn away before having the opportunity to meet earth's crust. You know, because if they didn't, we wouldn't survive. :)

When I read this, and its significance sunk in, I lost it. I mean, I started aching so deeply that I overflowed with tears. It was such a beautiful combination of identifying ever so slightly with their grief and an even smaller understanding of God's goodness.

The thing that stuck with this family was an insignificant, lifeless piece of dust; a piece of material that NO ONE on earth EVER would have known of, if it hadn't been obliterated as it entered into our atmosphere.

Cosmic dust has been burning to a crisp, and capturing the eyeballs and hearts of human beings since the beginning of time. Thing is, it had to be utterly destroyed to display its beauty and achieve its purpose. And a whole bunch fiery destruction happened that night.  A blessing to this family, on the day their precious son went to meet Him; a beautiful reminder of His Sovereignty- His perfect control over the ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

It was as if the Heavens opened up and GOD said, "I am here. I'm with you. Just as it takes an incredible amount of pressure/heat/change to convert this dust to beauty, so I desire to offer you love and make beautiful things out of this event that is crushing you, today and the days to come."

If He could take a seriously insignificant piece of dust and  make it gloriously beautiful, how much more does He have for you and me?  If He does something so monumental through something that literally means nothing in the big scheme, how much more involved is He longing to be in our every day? He wants to do His Big Things through us.

He. Is. Present. In our mundane. In our joys. And, very much in our hardships. He is with us. We may not see it. We may be looking at a few mere "pixels," but He simultaneously sees our pixels and the WHOLE Shebang! He gets it and His word says, He wants His best for us.

Dust can't fall from the universe without majestic display. Sparrows don't fall without His knowledge. Every hair on your head is accounted for by Him. And every single star in the sky strategically placed by the hand of the Artist.

I can't imagine their grief and I am not attempting to offer empty words when I say, "God knows what is best." Because He isn't offering that kind of consolation. He mourns every tear that momma and daddy have shed and will ever shed. He is present with them and He is present with each of us in our suffering. Just as the dust of the universe is crushed to make something spectacular, He longs to make ALL THINGS good for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Are you feeling pressed within an inch of being crushed? Feeling so lost in your circumstance you feel like you can't be found? His word says that there will be a day when He will wipe every tear away. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. He is with us in this broken world.
Irwin Lutzer said it beautifully, "The bible is a smooth path for a very difficult journey." The bible is clear that because we live in a broken, imperfect, sinful world, we will have struggles. BUT, it is also  says 365 times, "do not fear"-- one for every day of the year, because He knows we weren't equipped to handle this. He made us in His image, and to be in His perfect presence. So until we meet the ultimate Holder of the bird's eye view, we have to know His Truth, take comfort in His promises and see His presence in the shooting stars of our hard days here.




Love, Erin