Rain

He provides rain for the earth; he sends water on the countryside. Job 5:10

I love rain. I love the sound and the smell. I love a good, healthy non-threatening thunderstorm. The sounds remind me of His great might.

Did you know that thunder is actually the sound of lightning? Essentially, when lightning is discharged, the intensity of it's heat expands so rapidly we actually *hear* the air being ripped apart. Frightening, really. Powerful, to be sure. But NOTHING in comparison to the might of God.

When I am startled by a huge thunderclap, I ALWAYS think of that raw power and the Power of the infinitely more Powerful One. He could crush me. Easily. In the instant that I heard that crash of thunder, His wrath could fall upon me. And guess what? I'd deserve it.

In the eyes of a Perfect God, I will never, ever measure up. A good storm needs two big ingredients, a cold front and a warm front. We bring our COLD, wretched selves up to the Heat of the Perfect flame of justice and it is a recipe for a massive storm of judgment. But he knew that before we took our first gulp of air, and He sent His Perfect Son on my behalf and on yours.

It's like the gentle drops of rain that come with those mighty storms. Drip. Drip. Drip. Cool and soft, reminding me of the perfect balance only Christ can bring at the cross.
With each sin we have committed and the ones ahead to be surrendered, His sacrifice pays our price, and whispers healing words of forgiveness and worth. Because when we surrender and accept that pardon we are no longer held for that ransom. Instead we are free to believe the sweet, calm words dripping down from above: "I've paid the price. You're redeemed. You're set free. You are of infinite worth."

 

"Rain"

Mixed Media on 24"x42" vintage glass window

Original Available

The picture doesn't do it justice. Come on over to get a peek :)

Bird's Eye View

I have no idea why I am constantly surprised by God's display of His infinite knowledge in my life. So many times, He wows me and I am slack-jawed, shaking my head as if to take it right off its axis. He's perfect. He's Sovereign. He loves BIG and perfectly. And, of course, being human, I forget that and then, He wows me. Hence, the bird's eye view. The dictionary defines it something along this line: A view from high over head, as if from a bird's perspective. To see something in its entirety from above. Isn't that just how God is?

If our lives were compared to a photograph, we would see but a few pixels at a time. A few specks of blurred color, seemingly offering ZERO significance. Sure, we may see some small effects to our causes, in life, but truly we have no idea how each detail of our life is multiplied to affect so many other areas in our own lives and in the lives of others. The role they play in the now and the FOREVER.

Oh, but God, in His amazingly awesome perfection, can see the minute detail of the pixel and the full beauty of the entire picture.

Case in point: my most recent project. A custom, requested by a sweet lady I've gotten to know online. I won't begin to explain the many, many details of His assured presence, but trust me when I say, He was with me. And for that, I'm grateful. One simple example is the title. As I prayed for wisdom and creative direction, before I had an inkling of what the painting would be, the name of the painting came: "Bird's Eye View." .

Anyway, this online friend of mine, wanted to bless a family they had befriended years ago (her husband and this gentleman served together in the military). They were expecting about the same time, but this family had a heart-breaking loss of their little, sweet gift after just 36 days of life on earth. The request was simple, a "star" theme and then she gave me the backstory.

Here's a condensed version:
It was a perfect pregnancy. Baby and momma did great. But, the night she went into labor, baby's heart rate dropped and an emergency c-section was performed. He went several minutes without oxygen. One night, his momma and daddy held him close on the lawn of the children's hospital. There, God gave them a beautiful display of His majesty--Shooting stars, and apparently, a good amount of them. Just a few short hours later, he was gone. His momma later wrote that they find comfort every time they see one, because it reminds them of their sweet boy.

As I do with all my paintings (and Lord make me quit the day I don't do this), I prayed for the family. Then, I began to read up on the scientific information on shooting stars. Shooting stars, aren't stars at all. They are dust/debris entering earth's atmosphere. When this occurs, they change in physical/chemical composition and they literally burn away before having the opportunity to meet earth's crust. You know, because if they didn't, we wouldn't survive. :)

When I read this, and its significance sunk in, I lost it. I mean, I started aching so deeply that I overflowed with tears. It was such a beautiful combination of identifying ever so slightly with their grief and an even smaller understanding of God's goodness.

The thing that stuck with this family was an insignificant, lifeless piece of dust; a piece of material that NO ONE on earth EVER would have known of, if it hadn't been obliterated as it entered into our atmosphere.

Cosmic dust has been burning to a crisp, and capturing the eyeballs and hearts of human beings since the beginning of time. Thing is, it had to be utterly destroyed to display its beauty and achieve its purpose. And a whole bunch fiery destruction happened that night.  A blessing to this family, on the day their precious son went to meet Him; a beautiful reminder of His Sovereignty- His perfect control over the ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

It was as if the Heavens opened up and GOD said, "I am here. I'm with you. Just as it takes an incredible amount of pressure/heat/change to convert this dust to beauty, so I desire to offer you love and make beautiful things out of this event that is crushing you, today and the days to come."

If He could take a seriously insignificant piece of dust and  make it gloriously beautiful, how much more does He have for you and me?  If He does something so monumental through something that literally means nothing in the big scheme, how much more involved is He longing to be in our every day? He wants to do His Big Things through us.

He. Is. Present. In our mundane. In our joys. And, very much in our hardships. He is with us. We may not see it. We may be looking at a few mere "pixels," but He simultaneously sees our pixels and the WHOLE Shebang! He gets it and His word says, He wants His best for us.

Dust can't fall from the universe without majestic display. Sparrows don't fall without His knowledge. Every hair on your head is accounted for by Him. And every single star in the sky strategically placed by the hand of the Artist.

I can't imagine their grief and I am not attempting to offer empty words when I say, "God knows what is best." Because He isn't offering that kind of consolation. He mourns every tear that momma and daddy have shed and will ever shed. He is present with them and He is present with each of us in our suffering. Just as the dust of the universe is crushed to make something spectacular, He longs to make ALL THINGS good for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Are you feeling pressed within an inch of being crushed? Feeling so lost in your circumstance you feel like you can't be found? His word says that there will be a day when He will wipe every tear away. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. He is with us in this broken world.
Irwin Lutzer said it beautifully, "The bible is a smooth path for a very difficult journey." The bible is clear that because we live in a broken, imperfect, sinful world, we will have struggles. BUT, it is also  says 365 times, "do not fear"-- one for every day of the year, because He knows we weren't equipped to handle this. He made us in His image, and to be in His perfect presence. So until we meet the ultimate Holder of the bird's eye view, we have to know His Truth, take comfort in His promises and see His presence in the shooting stars of our hard days here.




Love, Erin

 

 

 

New Heart

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."- Ezekiel 36:26

 

I cannot tell you the  comfort this verse brings. It tells me so many things. It tells me God saw the hardness of heart in me and He loves me enough to remove it and replace it with a fresh, vibrant one. Thing is, I think that this not only happens in a big, eternal way-through salvation- but in the small, hard-hearted everyday stuff that steals our joy.

I have prayed this verse over my own heart so many times, yearning to be set free of selfish, near-sighted life-walking. It is no wonder that it would make it to canvas. But how it surfaced, came as it often does, through the lives of others.

I was scrolling along facebook when I came across a family's page for their little one who was in need of a new heart. While I don't know the family personally,  I had been following the story, praying along. This post was an update, baby had gotten a new heart! Praise God! There, photographed so beautifully, was her "sick" heart, . It struck me, searing its image so deep, I still see it in my head so clearly. It really was beautiful. My mind was blown at the brilliant minds/hearts involved in removing this VITAL organ from a living, breathing child and replacing it with one that would work for her. And it was blown, too, that something so beautiful could be "worthless."

Isn't that how it is with us?  On first inspection, our exterior may be polished and beautiful. Even our intentions can be good. But, honestly, even with the best attempts, our hearts are bound to be sick. Because we are made to be eternally connected with the Creator of the world. Our hearts are made to yearn for the Best One, not the best things of this life. He offers that freedom. When we come to Him, naturally, the damaged, scarred areas of our innermost are removed and replaced with His best. The mental picture is so beautiful. Exchanging Stone for Flesh. The Inanimate for the eternally living.

That indelible image, stirred that verse right out of my heart and onto the canvas.

I love that I was able to pray for that baby girl, and for her family. Little girl, may the LORD fill your spiritual tank to overflowing and that your "new" heart will beat wildly for Him.

 

Woven

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

 

 

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:14-16

 

Not a single thing in all of my existence as a new creation in Jesus has lit a fire under my soul's rear like the role of mother. I couldn't have had the relationship with Christ I do, without my three, little nuggets. Each birth brought a different lesson for my heart and each joy, struggle, storm and laugh along the way is used to shape me for His glory.

 

Goodness, I couldn't have fully appreciated these words without seeing that first ultrasound; without holding that fresh, warm, soft newborn in my arms. I cannot, will not ever be able to describe that joy. And because of that feeling, that fierce love, I can understand just a minute amount of the love Christ has for us.

 

He sees us. He formed us (especially those who are handicapped or deemed "different") PERFECTLY for His master plan. He makes no mistakes. Nope. He sure doesn't.  Because He is perfectly sovereign. Doesn't matter, dear one, what the heck you've done or what the world tells you of your worth. Oh, you are so loved. You were INTRICATELY woven together by the Creator of the world. Oh yes, you are here for a Mighty purpose.

To the ones who have carried that precious life in their womb and never had the chance to experience life with that soul this side of Heaven, and for those who had to return their child (0-80 years), to the arms of God, too soon for the human heart to comprehend-I'm broken for you. I cannot fathom the grief you must feel as the world keeps spinning, with your heart suspended out there-forced to keep moving.

To the woman with a barren womb, how could I even understand? How could I, a mother of three, even utter comforting thoughts your way? I cannot, other than to say that there is a Great Comforter that can provide peace that surpasses understanding. The peace would have to surprass understanding, wouldn't it? Because your arms ache so bad for something so many treat as "common place" or "insignificant." I say, here, you aren't forgotten by me and NEVER forgotten by God.

 

Then, you know, there are so many women who are hurting out there because they find themselves in a society that says the child they are carrying will throw them off, mess them up, or that they just won't  be able to "handle it." Some of those women now grieve because they made the choice they thought was right and now the "would haves" come and go-birthdays, dances, and other  rites of passage aren't forgotten. Man alive, I hurt for those women. I can't imagine the heartache. If you are that woman, I sure love you and I'm just a piddly, little grouchbag. Broken heart, The Creator loves you so beyond what you can ask or even imagine.  Trust this big sinful disaster when I say that there is literally nothing you have done that can separate you from the love of Christ. He is there waiting.

 

And the teenage mom, who is scared out of her gourd. Girl, my heart is so huge for you. So big, that I often dream of having a place, a BIG place, for you to come stay. To be safe, loved and cherished. To be encouraged and helped along the way because you and your precious babe is so worthy of love.

 

I didn't realize where this post was going before I sat here to peck it out. What a mix of emotions. Gratitude, that God is who He is and He never, ever changes. That He makes no mistakes and He has a plan (numbered the days, even) just for me. Just for you, too. Humility, that He might offer me children to open my eyes to His love as a Father. Brokenness, for those who can't or haven't yet tasted the goodness of Jesus. Sad, for those mamas who grieve the loss of their babies and for the ones, still, who are feeling hopeless in real-time. And HOPE, for those who find Christ out there in the feeble hands and hearts of those who serve Him here on earth.

 

He made us not for this world, that superficially builds us, wrecks us, and forgets us--He made us for Him, to be infinitely loved and a part of His daily family affairs.

Sparrows

Inspired by the verse Matthew 10:26, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care."

This verse has been bouncing around my head and heart for over a year now. It hit me just right; in the midst of transition from two children to three. Sleepless nights of newborn life mixed with the busyness of caring for a newborn, two siblings, and a naughty weimaraner puppy- my life felt a blur. As I read those words, it was like my monotonous offerings meant something to the Creator of the world. As if He said "No worries, Child, I notice ALL things." Not a bird of the air, seemingly so ordinary and forgettable by the world, escapes His care. How much more does He love me.

Why? I'm a messy disaster, literally in my mommy attire, and even more in the deepest places of my heart. I began to see this mix of color and a vision of just how my heart would paint such a verse. But, again, three kids, husband, life, and the naughty dog.

 Six months passed and my heart's desire to paint this was renewed. Though, we've never met, though they don't know of my existence, I learned of theirs and my heart was incredibly changed. See, their last name is Sparrow and they experienced and incredibly painful journey of loss that I cannot begin to understand-truthfully, I hope I never do. I'd love to share more, but don't' feel I can without actually meeting this folks and having their blessing.  I share this much to say God wastes nothing. Their faithfulness to share their RAW, fresh hurt with the world brought to surface something that had already been ignited within me and made it anew. Let's not forget that folks. Little bits of love and faithfulness are multiplied in ways we often will never know and make differences we cannot even fathom. Why? Because God is big and He wastes NADA. Nothing. Not one thing. He is good and He is for us.

Slow but sure this painting came along as I prayed it through and prayed for the family who boosted it from the depths. As I pray for the hearts who will eventually call it theirs. What a privilege. For average, little me.

I started with a BIG (44" x 24" x 2.25") double-pane window we found nestled safe and sound in an abandoned shed in Southeastern Iowa. They were abandoned from a project and left for over fifty years. Untouched by life. Until we found them. I love things old and worn. Things forgotten. Ah, to give it life again. LOVE that. Just like God does in us, slow but sure.

I tried something different and new to me. An acrylic mixed-media piece. Notice my childhood towl made by my Great Great Aunt Fern? Love that it is always there with me. She was an incredible woman. Anyway, the main features here. Notice the little mama and baby sparrow? Not yet, I'll show you later :)

 I flipped the painting over and slowly but surely layered a warm, deep sky.

 Back over it went for more fine details. More layers of color and love. There's that mama and baby. Nestled in. Noticed and cared for.

 And here she is finished. I decided to leave that wood frame free, unpainted/unstained. Raw and natural as we found it.

 

I hope to list this somewhere, some day to find its home. Until then, I love to see it. I love to be reminded of God's tender, intricate care for me and for us all. And I appreciate the reminder to pray for the Sparrows of this world, who need reminding of His love, His blessings for those who seek after Him.